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Wednesday, 5 March 2014

CFS/ME Inability to stay awake during the day

This was my first 'dotty' picture, however there is a little colour in there.

Reflective Reframing webinar. M'reen Hunt  

For 13 ½ years I’ve been refusing to accept the label of CFS.
I have been Chronically Fatigued and that has impinged and debilitated my life and capabilities.
During that time I have examined every medical possibility that has come to my attention and
I have worked with myself and many practitioners in a variety of disciplines. All to no avail.
So maybe I’ve travelled to a point where I’ve been able to cast the skin of CF and emerge
my true vibrant self.
I am familiar with the principals of RR, the main ones being, from my perspective, the balance of opposites which means the ability to love that which is not desirable.
But how do you truly recognise that love? As I write this I feel a joy and excitement bubbling within me therefore I guess that is how I recognise my unconditional love for myself.
Chris is full of life and enthusiasm and practicality, he is someone I related to very easily
and research has shown that the rapport between the therapist and client is the vital ingredient
for success – not the therapeutic discipline. That statement does not reduce my regard for RR!

We chose an area of life to work with and he gave a brief example of his work.
During this period, as always, I decided to work on what was my CF as I believe I have my desire
for financial abundance working for me after a huge investment of time and energy and the skills
of others along with my ability (feet dragging) to accept my desires as my truth.
My crazy thoughts went basically thus: OK I can be tired Sunday and Monday, I can sleep all day and I imagined being in my bed. At some point I realised that I wanted to cry in my bed and my conscious mind can offer some guesses why but let’s get my conscious mind out of this altogether.
In the meanwhile Chris was making me laugh, his way of working brought up all sorts of funny scenarios and I found myself wiggling with joy and yawning quite a lot. And at those words a yawn escapes so is it a trigger to CF or an automatic response to the yawn that seems to affect everyone?
My pendulum says that I can laugh and enjoy these yawns that they are the expansive yawns
of waking up and feeling good about my day. During Chris’ webinar it was my noisy yawns with the Chewbacca sounds that made me realise that I wanted to cry in the safety of my bed.
The more I laughed and wiggled the thought came that I could choose to stay in bed Sunday
and Monday – or not.

I had no intention of signing up for his very reasonably priced weekend course in London;
but I did so promptly as I thought that it would be a great and enjoyable experience.
When in bed I imagined the first day of the course and why we were attending and what
we hoped to gain from the course. This led me to think of the third major issue in my life.
I’m not being coy but the audience is far too wide for me to share.
I thought of the opposite of my issue and realised that I’ve been living it for some years
and really it’s not all that bad, sometimes a day or two of whatever the word is, but that’s temporary.
So, what really frightens me?
It’s the lack of hope, the lack of potential.
And what does that look like since I’ve never actually experienced that state of being.
I thought of an abyss and went to look in and saw this great gaping hole – something like Dante’s inferno without the tortured beings.
I realised that the sides of the abyss were filled with sparkling diamonds
and that maybe there were caverns to explore.
Looking further I found the most magnificent black dragon with fascinating spikes and scales.
I found him to be intriguing – and doing nothing!
I wondered what my relationship with him was and decided that eventually I would find this out as my experience of him developed.
But he just sat there as part of my experience of the abyss and I realised that he just is
as the diamonds just are and the abyss just is and it was all very beautiful and natural and right.

Day 1
I try to walk an hour or two each day after lunch and prior to my walk my body was so lively
that the expression ‘having ants in your pants’ was probably apt.
Before my walk I had two sessions of a few minutes when I held all 18 acupressure points
and worked on impending tiredness.
As Chris said, issues can have many layers or different aspects as they are linked into the rest of your life. So the first time I wanted to check out what was going on. I imagined that I could see and hear Chris and get back into the healing energy. The second time I just gave everything over to my Magnificent Self – this is a combination of your Spiritual Self that has an overview of your life and the part of you that deals with everyday life. During this time for some reason I let my little gremlins go to bed and the song, there were 10 in the bed and the little one said, roll over, roll over, so they all rolled over and 1 fell out … When I got to 1 in the bed I said that it could stay in bed or go
and play with its friends and then there were none in the bed so no one said roll over, roll over.
So during the morning and most of the walk I kept tuning in to Chris.
The afternoon has been quite ‘slow’ and I’ve played rather than done the work I intended.
There are rare times when I’m awake all day and I always find it amazing just how long a day is.

Thur Day 2 I had 2 periods of tiredness.
Art Giser, the Creator OF Energetic-NLP suggests that you end an energy healing session
by visualising/imagining or whatever works for you a circular rainbow high above your head.
I have seen double rainbows; I have even seen two rainbows form perfect crossed arches in SN
and EW directions but a circular rainbow has always been a construct – until this afternoon.
Your circular rainbow showers you with all the colours, hues, vibrations and all the energies you cannot be aware of and these flush through your  body and energy systems cleansing and healing.
Today, my circular rainbow was composed of hundreds and millions of tiny little rainbow smiles!
Can you imagine the JOY of hundreds and millions of tiny little rainbow smiles dancing through
your body and energy systems, caressing and soothing your body and energy systems?
I sincerely hope that you too may experience the playfulness of circular rainbows.
Prior to this my little gremlins rose into the air hanging onto balloon strings.
The balloons bust and the gremlins vanished and it was wonderful.
This might have been a variation of a hypnotherapy script I sometimes use when happy healing bubbles bust over sad issue filled bubbles?

FRI Day 3 Historically if I’ve had 2 days of being awake then I‘ve paid severely for the pleasure.
Again I had 2 periods of tiredness and during the first I got the impression of layers of leaves
at the bottom of a stagnant pond. The leaves had lost their shape and identity and purpose.
So those further down the pile were more reluctant to release as they had basically forgotten.
I tried to inject some oxygen and joy into them but they just couldn’t be bothered.
During my walk I felt tired round my eyes and nose and found tuning into Chris faded but effective.

Sat Day 4 I’ve been tired around the edges for 3 hours during which time I ‘couldn’t’ find 5 minutes for myself! During my walk whenever I thought that I‘d work on this tiredness my gremlins wandered off somewhere. When I got back I ‘did my stuff’ but I can’t claim any success.
This evening I intended to do academic work but played instead and went to bed an hour early.

Sun Day 5. If you remember Sunday and Monday were days when my gremlins could sleep all day
if they wished. While I’ve not been sleeping just as well as normally these last nights I got up feeling fine this morning. I felt my newly acquired lunch time tiredness and worked on it for a few minutes before my walk. A couple of hours later I had a full blown tiredness with great yawns and copious amounts of tears rolling down my cheeks. However I did a theta healing on a completely different subject and yawned and teared my way through this recorded session. I was a shade tired during the evening. However, during the past if I’d had to ignore this demand to go to bed and sleep for 2ish hours I would have found myself in bed having top sleep for a good number of hours and being totally groggy afterwards, unable to sleep that night and the whole taking 2 – 3 days to work its way out of my system.
Mon Day 6. My 2nd day when I gave myself permission to sleep all day – but I got up as a normal day.
JJJJ I have reclaimed my life. 
M’reen Hunt
In the following few weeks, my awakeness has gone from 95-8% to a solid 99%.
I just tell myself that, ‘oh, I’ll be tired at bedtime’ and it works.
I feel confident that I can stay awake all day.
I’m sleeping 10 – 10 ½ hours at night but that is not a problem.
So my message is, never give up; keep trying to find your answer.
And the very best of luck to you in your quest.
Unfortunately it did not last for me.

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