Welsh poppy.
8 Things
People With Hidden Depression Do
Jane
Scearce
Though public understanding of depression has
improved somewhat over the years,
we as a society still frequently misunderstand or overlook
depression and its symptoms.
Because of the continuing stigma, we don’t always
recognize when people in our lives are struggling with this illness. Worse, too
many people go undiagnosed because of erroneous assumptions
about how depression manifests and what to look for.
This results in a number of people whose depression is
hidden, either from others
or from themselves. Especially when a person with
depression is undiagnosed,
they may develop ways of coping with their problems that
conceals their illness f
rom those around them or keeps the person from
recognizing their symptoms for what they are.
We need to unlearn the assumption that suffering is
always clearly visible to us,
so that we can better understand and help those who
struggle with illnesses that go unseen.
Here are some signs that someone might have hidden
depression.
1. They
might not “look depressed”
Due to media and cultural stereotypes, most of us have
assumptions about how someone behaves and looks if they’re struggling with depression.
We imagine someone who rarely leaves their room, doesn’t dress themselves well,
and constantly looks miserable,
but people with depression do not all behave in the
same way.
All people are, of course, different from each other
and the symptoms and coping abilities
of people with depression also differ. Many are able to
keep up a facade of good mental health
to protect themselves, but they aren’t suffering any less
simply because they can do this.
Similarly, those who are unable to keep up such a facade
are not “weaker” than those who can.
2. They
may often seem exhausted or complain about always being tired
A prevalent side effect of depression is constant
exhaustion. Not everyone with the disorder
struggles with it, but it’s
extremely common. For those who experience this symptom
with their depression, it’s often one of the hardest side
effects to cope with.
Also, if someone is living with an undiagnosed depression
disorder, the cause of their exhaustion
can be baffling. They can get plenty of sleep each
night and still wake up every morning
feeling like they only slept a few hours. Worse,
they may blame themselves,
believing it to be laziness or some other personal fault
that’s causing their low energy levels.
This is also a symptom that’s difficult to conceal for
those who have been diagnosed
with depression but are attempting to keep it
from their peers,
as it often affects their workload and personal
relationships.
3. They can
be unusually irritable
A depressed person’s behavior might be interpreted as
melancholy
even if that’s not what they’re really feeling.
Irritability is a frequently overlooked symptom
of depression that is also very common. This should be
understandable,
since depression is a health problem you can’t “see” or
strictly measure, making it hard to combat.
The constant work it takes to keep up all the necessary
aspects of life while dealing with depression also drains the person, and
leaves little room for patience or understanding.
If someone you know discovers they’re clinically
depressed and shares this with you,
you may initially be confused if their previous behavior
didn’t fit the common misconception
of the shy, silent depressed person. If they tend to have
a short temper and are quick to annoy,
that’s actually a side effect of
depression.
4. They
could have a tough time responding to affection and concern
The main misconception about depression, which has been
hinted at in the paragraphs above,
is that it’s about “feeling” sad.
On the contrary, depression is mostly not feeling
anything, or only partially and briefly experiencing emotions. It depends on
the individual, but some people with depression
report feeling almost “numb,” and the closest thing to an
emotion
they experience is a kind of sadness and/or irritation.
Because of this, appropriately responding to
gestures or words of affection will be difficult for them,
or they just don’t
think about it any more.
They may even get irrationally irritated or annoyed with
you over it, because it may simply
be too difficult for their brains to process and respond
to your loving gestures.
5. They
might frequently turn down activities they used to love or would otherwise
enjoy
Unless other explanations could equally be possible, an
uncharacteristic lack of interest
in activities over an extended period of time could be a
sign that someone has depression.
As mentioned above, depression is just as physically
draining as it is mentally draining,
which makes enjoying all the things you usually do
difficult.
Previously-loved activities can even lose their
appeal in general, because depression
also commonly makes it difficult to enjoy or feel
fulfilled by much at all. If you have no other way
of explaining their decreasing interest, it could be a
symptom of clinical depression.
6. They can
develop abnormal eating habits
Abnormal eating habits mainly develop for two reasons: as
a form of coping, or as a side effect
of lack of self-care. Eating too little or too much
is a common sign of depression.
Overeating is often shamed the most, when food can
be the one source of pleasure
a depressed person is able to give themselves and thus
causes them to eat excessively.
When a depressed person is eating too little, it’s often
because their depression
is affecting their appetite and making eating unappealing.
It can also be a subconscious need
to control something, since they cannot control their
depression.
If someone is undiagnosed or has not shared that they have
depression, people will assume
their eating habits are a personal fault and judge them for it, making the person feel worse.
7. They may
start needing more from you
A depressed person legitimately can’t function like a
mentally healthy person.
There will be things they will no longer be able to do as
much of, as often, or at all.
Pestering or shaming them about it will only hurt, not
help.
If they’ve been keeping their depression private, it will
be that much harder
to deal with others getting irritated with them because
they can’t perform
at the level that’s expected of mentally healthy people.
This is why it’s always best to be understanding with
those in your life, both work and personal.
You don’t know if someone isn’t just slacking off, but is
struggling with a real health problem.
8. They can
have bad days, and “better” days
Depression can have its ups and downs. If someone has
hidden or undiagnosed depression,
they might seem like they get random mood swings,
depending on if their depression
is consistent or not. To you (and to them, if they are
undiagnosed), the changes in mood
seem without cause, but it’s simply how some people’s
depression manifests.
If you know the person has depression, it’s possible to
falsely believe
they’re permanently better because of a few “good” days.
While it’s always great if someone has a day that’s better
than the one before it,
you should always let them tell you what they’re ready to
handle and when.
Assuming they’ve completely recovered and pushing them
too quickly into things
might overwhelm them and make them retreat into
themselves again.
Be supportive of your friends and family who have
depression, but let them make the calls.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/8-things-people-with-hidden-depression.html
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