These are not normally found together.
Daisy in the grass,
ivy-leaved toadflax and yellow corydalis prefer a wall.
8
Traits of Healthy Relationships
Jim Rohn
Which
of these will you work on today?
Nothing can bring more joy to
life than beautifully fulfilling relationships.
The depth of meaning,
understanding and appreciation that these kinds of relationships
bring is almost unfathomable.
And, of course, as many
people find out, nothing can bring so much pain
as a broken relationship with
someone dear to you.
Yes, relationships make the
world go ’round. For better or for worse.
But the exciting thing is
that we can do much to increase our chances
of having terrific
relationships—relationships that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with
meaning,
joy and love. There are basics
that govern most human relationships
and these basics are what I
want to cover below.
So here is my list of the
eight essentials that I believe make up the basics of healthy relationships.
1. Love. Now, this all depends on your definition of love. Most people think that love is a feeling,
but I would strongly debate
that point. Actually, the concept of “like” is really about feelings.
When you say you like
someone, you are talking about how you feel.
But when you say that you
love someone,
you are not necessarily
talking about how you feel about them.
Love is much deeper than a
feeling. Love is a commitment we make to people
to always treat that person
right and honorably. Yes, for those we become especially close to,
we will have feelings of
love, but I believe it is time for us to re-examine what we mean by love.
We must expand our definition
of what love means by including the commitment aspect of love.
For healthy relationships, we
must love everyone. We may not like them based on how we feel about them, but
we should love them based on our definition of love above
which in turn determines how
we should act toward them; that is,
treat them right and
honorably. This is the basis of all healthy relationships.
2. Serving Heart. My good friend Zig Ziglar says frequently that
“you can have everything you
want in life if you help enough other people get what they want
out of life.” The concept he
is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving
other people. The Bible puts
it this way: consider others’ interests as more important than your own. This
is also fundamental to healthy relationships.
3. Honest Communication. In any good relationship you will find open and honest communication. Communication is so important because it is the vehicle
that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables it to connect with
another person. Isn’t communication amazing?
One person is feeling one
thing, and through communication, another person can find that out
and feel it too—amazing. And
this is a vital goal in good relationships—to communicate,
to tell each other what we
are thinking and what we are feeling. It enables us to make a connection.
Sometimes we are the one speaking and other times we are listening.
Either way, the central tenet
is communication for the sake of building the relationship
and making it stronger. And
here’s what’s exciting: If we just communicate, we can get by.
But if we communicate
skillfully, we can work miracles!
4. Friendliness. Put simply, relationships just work better when we are
friendly with others.
Being friendly can cushion
the bumpy ride we sometimes experience in our relationships. Cheerfulness goes
a long way toward building lasting relationships.
I mean, nobody wants to be
around a grump, do they?
The fact is that the
friendlier you are the more you are going to have people
who want to pursue
longer-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with you.
So cheer up, put on a smile,
have kind words to say to others,
treat people with a great
deal of friendliness and you will see your relationships improve.
5. Patience. People being people, we have an awful lot of time for
practice in the area of patience. People are not perfect and will constantly
fail us. And conversely we will fail other people.
So while we try to have more
patience for others, we need their patience as well.
So often, I think
relationships break down because people give up and lose patience.
I am talking about all kinds
of friendships, marriages, business relationships, etc.
Recent research has shown
that those marriages that go through major turmoil,
and then make it through, are
very strong after doing so. Patience wins out. Those who give up on
relationships too early, or because the other person isn’t perfect, often
forget that their next friend, their next spouse or business partner will not
be perfect either!
So we would do well to
cultivate this skill and learn to have more patience.
6. Loyalty. Loyalty is a commitment to another person.
Sadly, loyalty is often a
missing element in many relationships today.
We have forgotten what it
means to be loyal. Our consumer mentality has affected this
to some degree. People are no
longer loyal to a product.
And unfortunately, many
companies are not loyal to their clients or patrons.
Regrettably, this has spilled
over into our relationships.
It is one thing to switch
brands of dishwashing detergent.
It is another thing
altogether to switch friends. Sometimes we just need to commit to being loyal
and let the relationship move
forward. We need a higher level of stick-to-it-iveness!
This kind of loyalty will
take our relationships to a much deeper level.
What a powerful and secure
feeling of knowing that you have a relationship with someone
who is loyal to you and you
to them—that neither of you is going anywhere
even when things get tough.
Wow, how powerful!
7. A Common Purpose. One of the basics of healthy relationships is to have a
common purpose,
and oftentimes this is a
component that is initially overlooked, but for a long-term,
long-lasting relationship it
is vital. Think about how many friends you have met through the years while
working on a common purpose. Maybe it was someone you met while participating
in sports, while working on a political campaign, attending church, at your
office, or anything
that brought you together to
work on a common purpose. You had that strong common bond
of purpose that brought you together and held you together. Working
together, building together, failing and succeeding together—all while pursuing
a common purpose—is what relationships
are made of. Find people with
whom you have common purposes
and sow the seeds of great
relationships, and then reap the long-lasting benefits.
8. Fun. All good relationships have some element of fun. Now,
that doesn’t necessarily mean
loud, raucous fun, though
that is appropriate for some relationships.
But even in business
relationships there should be some fun. It should be fun to do business with
those who you are going to have a long-term business relationship with.
Fun brings enjoyment to the
relationship and that is important.
I think that oftentimes this
key element can be easily forgotten or neglected in our family
and spousal relationships.
The fun things we did initially in a new relationship
after a while can be taken
for granted or simply fall by the wayside and we stop creating the fun
and joy. So remember to
consciously craft fun situations and moments,
for these are the glue that
hold our memories together and make our lives sweet.
There are so many key
ingredients to making and maintaining great, long-lasting relationships.
Each of the eight components
we discussed brings unique dynamics
and rewards to your
relationships. Let’s begin to focus on improving our relationships
in these areas and see what
miracles occur!
http://www.success.com/article/8-traits-of-healthy-relationships
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