Knap weed. Slender, spear and creeping thistle.
16 Things You Don’t Need To Say Yes All the Time (Though You Think You Do)
Oskar Nowik
There are two words I consider one of the most powerful
and influential, namely “yes and “no.”
The right combination of them and using the right one
according to the situation guarantees
you more happiness, health and wealth.
To be nice and avoid hurting others, we often say yes
though we feel like saying no.
Whereas empathy is a good feature to have, being a
people-pleaser has terrible consequences.
If you ever regretted saying yes,
these 16 examples
will help you to not make the same mistake again.
1. You don’t need
to say yes to people asking for your time.
Some say time is money, but in reality, there’s one thing
that makes time the real wealth.
Namely, once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.
Whereas money can always be made up, time never goes back.
Now, don’t misunderstand it with being insensitive
ignorant, it’s far from that!
When someone ask for your time, don’t say yes when it
conflicts with your personal priorities.
If you think this person deserves your attention,
schedule one day
of a month when you can devote your attention to them.
2. You don’t need
to say yes to people asking for your money.
There is an adage which says don’t let your friends
borrow money unless you don’t mind
never getting it
back. If you can’t accept them never paying back, it’s a sign you should
decline.
Borrowing money can destroy your relationships with other people and
make your life really tense. Oftentimes, it’s better to deal with the temporary
discontent
when you say no than experience the problems later on.
3. You don’t need
to say yes to people who clearly exploit you.
When someone approaches you only during struggles, you
are just a tool to solve their problems.
It’s when somebody only takes and never gives that you
should consider stop saying yes.
Sure, you should contribute value to other people’s
lives, but folks who batten on generosity
are not ones who deserve it.
4. You don’t need
to say yes to please your friends.
Saying no to a friend is tricky. You care about them and
feel obliged to act accordingly.
The truth is, a real friend will accept your refusal
because they value your close friendship.
It’s false people who leave you in case of disagreement.
5. You don’t need
to say yes while under social pressure.
Social pressure can be a huge obstacle to overcome.
People expect you to go with the flow and please them. Saying no requires
courage and confidence but oftentimes it’s a lifesaving decision.
Every time
you don’t say yes under a big group pressure,
you clearly show your values which everyone respects even
when they don’t admit it.
6. You don’t need
to say yes so you fit in.
Similar to the previous example, people in the crowd
subordinate so in order to not stick out,
you are expected to submit to their influence. But at
some point everyone comes to the conclusion that fitting in is unnecessary and
only causes regrets.
7. You don’t need
to say yes when rules and dogmas limit you.
Different environments set clear expectations toward
behavior within the group.
Whereas some rules are necessary so the society can
function, there are many dogmas you have
a full right not to follow. Embrace who you are and don’t
let the outdated doctrines change it.
8. You don’t need
to say yes to tradition and religion.
Born among people who set religion and tradition as the
highest priority,
you are expected to worship these values. If, however,
deep in heart you don’t consider
them as truths, that’s a clear sign to refuse following
them.
When I stated to my family that I see religion
differently than they do, I faced disapproval.
As the time goes by, however, the tension expires and you
feel proud of being your true self.
9. You don’t need
to say yes to your parents.
Being able to do this is might be as hard as it is to
differentiate between following your heart
and being unappreciative toward your parents. They love
you and want you to live the best life possible, but sometimes it’s you who
knows better your deepest desires.
When you parents expect you to choose a certain career
path,
remember it’s you and not them who will be obliged to
that lifestyle.
10. You don’t need
to say yes to your boss.
Be cautious, I don’t intend to make you lose your job!
But then again, if you do have alternatives
and your current boss destroys your life, maybe it’s time
to say goodbye and part ways.
11. You don’t need
to say yes to things that make your priorities secondary.
If you don’t respect your values, nobody will.
You are responsible for what happens in your life and
it’s the moment when you fully accept
this responsibility when you can finally give your goals
the top priority.
12. You don’t need
to say yes to things fighting for your attention.
Today’s world attacks you with distractions on a regular
basis.
A skill to ignore stuff begging for your attention is
invaluable to survive. Remember,
whatever you
decide to pay attention to, you might be neglecting things that actually
matter.
13. You don’t need
to say yes to sales and extra offers.
I know it’s often hard not to lose your mind during the
sales. And marketers are people who know
it best. Various psychology tricks are applied to make
you say yes and follow the sales funnel.
At first, you feel instant happiness, but then, as your
wallet gets thinner and what you bought collects dust, you begin questioning
whether saying no wouldn’t be a wiser decision.
14. You don’t need
to say yes to email offers.
As someone who likes to subscribe to interesting
newsletters,
I know how tempting certain offers are. You are
presented with an almost perfect offer.
As a result, a new need is created and a product for its
satisfaction sold.
But if you wouldn’t open the email, would you even desire
that very product or service?
15. You don’t need
to say yes to time-suckers.
Television, Internet or Social Media, these are all the
wonders of technology which revolutionized the world of communication and
information. But if you don’t control them, they will control you. It’s easy to
get lost staring at the screen and mindlessly wasting your time.
Your brain tends to say yes to comfortable situations and
time-suckers definitely count to that.
As we determined in the first point, your time is the
most precious resource
so protecting it is obligatory.
16. You don’t need
to say yes to notifications.
I disabled every possible digital notification, expect an
app that reminds me to work out
and it does it at the right time. But it wasn’t always
like that.
Facebook notifications would immediately catch my attention and
destroy my focus.
Almost any serious app makes sure to notify its users so
they stay engaged and active.
Whereas it’s definitely beneficial to the founders, it’s
incredibly harmful to yourself. Turn off every unnecessary notification and
never again say yes to distractions begging for your attention.
Set a goal for
yourself
"Life is hard at times. But when I overcome more
challenges, I become much stronger then.
So I’m going to
embrace them."
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/16-things-you-dont-need-say-yes-all-the-time-though-you-think-you.html
You can TCR software
and engineering manuals for spontaneous
recall – or pass that exam.
I can Turbo Charge
Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
I can TCR an instructional/academic book
around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister
blogs:
http://ourbusinessminds.blogspot.co.uk/ takes
advantage of the experience and expertise of others. http://mreenhunthappyartaccidents.blogspot.co.uk/ just for fun.
To quote the Dr Seuss
himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
