Busy bees.
13 Struggles Every Mother Just Keeps to
Herself
Ivan Dimitrijevic
An overwhelming majority of people out there have had a
privilege to grow up with a loving mother, myself included, and we tend to
quickly get used to seeing our mom perform her role admirably.
The things a mom does shape our world as we are growing
up, yet we just sort of assume
that that’s how things are supposed to be, and never give
it much thought.
It’s easy to miss all the hard work that goes into
raising a family when you are focused
on other things like running around with other kids,
going to school and playing video games.
Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that a
lot of moms don’t really make a big deal
out of it, but they definitely have plenty of struggles
that they keep to themselves.
Here are some of the things I learned from my mom, as
well as my wife,
once I had already grown up and started a family of my
own.
1. She had to walk the tight line
between parent and friend
A mother wants nothing more than to see the warm smiles
on her children’s faces,
have fun with them and talk about all kinds of things.
They can be your best friend
in the whole wide world at times, but they also know that
as you grow up
you will only trust your close friends with certain
things and go to them to vent about problems.
A moms job is, first and foremost, to make sure you
develop into a good human being,
with a decent value system, healthy habits and a skill
base that will help you succeed in life – this sometimes requires her to pull rank on
you, focusing on disciplining
and teaching rather than taking your side and encouraging
bad behavior.
2. She shed thousands of tears for you
in joy, sadness and anger
Since the day she found out she was pregnant your mom was
on an emotional rollercoaster ride.
She was in tears, all confused and excited at first, she
went through mood swings
and cried because she couldn’t find her phone when she
was pregnant, she went through hell
to bring you into this world and she spent many sleepless
nights when you were sick or injured.
They may occasionally bring up some of these points, but
you don’t know half of it,
and it’s only when you become a mother or see what your
partner has to go through,
that you begin to truly appreciate her sacrifices.
3. She went from a regular woman to
super-heroine protector once you were born
You see, most moms start out like any average woman,
minding their own business
and generally not looking at the world with the eyes of
an ex CIA agent.
However, once their first child is born, they go into
full super-heroine mode.
Moms will scan the perimeter for any sign of danger, from
suspicious strangers
to bumps in the road someone might trip on, check to see
if all the doors and windows are locked, and make sure that both their and the
other kids on the playground aren’t misbehaving.
It’s not really something they train for or learn in
books or see in videos,
the mental shift just kind of happens naturally.
4. She knows that you’ll hear most of
her advice as nagging, and she’s OK with that
It is important to impart some serious life lessons to
your children. All the knowledge and wisdom
you have picked up through
experience, along with advice based on the kind of common sense
that kids have yet to develop, is not always welcomed
with open arms.
Kids will moan, fuss and generally make the whole process
difficult, but mothers soldier on
and keep up their “nagging” until the lesson has been fully understood and we develop good habits. They have
no problem playing the bad guy, as long as it helps us reach our full potential
and grow up to be decent people.
5. She watched the same cartoons over
and over again until she learned the lines by heart
One of the greatest joys as a child is discovering a
cartoon that is virtually perfect in every way
as far as you are concerned. These days it’s easy for
kids to get hooked on all kinds of videos, cartoons, TV or YouTube shows and
songs, which they will proceed to watch or listen to all day long. It can get
incredibly frustrating for a grown woman to listen to the same thing all day
long,
but moms bare this burden gracefully, and even sing along
cheerfully with their little ones.
6. She had to make tough calls behind
the scenes to ensure that you were safe and comfortable
Remember how you got that cool new toy, or had some
sweets and got a new jacket,
even though times were tough? Chances are your mom had to
do some juggling
in order to balance out the home budget, which often
meant cutting any corner she could winter,
spring, summer or fall, so that there was always enough money left to keep you
well-fed and well-dressed. Moms are always on the lookout
for good deals
and innovative cost-cutting tactics, and they will never
let you see the hard work
that goes into keeping everyone as comfortable as
possible.
7. She struggled to understand all the
things that “kids are up to these days”
Being your go-to confidant is a task your mom gladly
accepts, but it also means that she has to
work hard if she wants to keep up with the younger
generations. When she talks to you
she needs some sort of context and at least a rudimentary
understanding of youth culture
if she wants to relate, and it can be confusing and
tiring for her at times. Being the cool
and understanding mom requires patience and quite a bit
of research on the side.
8. She tried hard to keep you away from
old family secrets and feuds
If you have had a relatively fun and relaxed childhood,
all things considered,
then you probably owe your mom a huge gift. All families
will have some traction,
all kinds of small feuds and issues, and perhaps a few
skeletons in the closet.
It’s up to moms to act as a buffer between their children
and the turbulent relations
within the family, always keeping their chin up and a
smile on their face.
9. She often turned a blind eye when you
messed up or did something wrong
While most of us like to think that we were pretty good
as children, the truth is that kids
can be quite the handful at times. It takes a lot of time
to develop a strong sense of right and wrong, and learn how to behave, and our
moms tend to be incredibly patient throughout
our different developmental stages. We would break things
and lie about it, even though
it was obvious we did it, or we’d make the very mistakes
our mother told us how to avoid;
yet mom would sometimes skip the stern talk
and let one slide if she felt that we felt very bad about
it.
10. She did her best to provide support
and keep you motivated
There are many different ways your mom tries to lift your
spirits.
For me it used to be the fun colorful lunch boxes, with
little notes inside that made me smile
and push through a tough day at school. Nowadays, my wife
looks for wise and uplifting quotes
and puts motivational stickers on our daughter’s backpack
and on the covers of notebooks.
It’s little things like this, as well as all the pep
talks and pats on the shoulder
that keep you motivated. Although moms may seem overbearing
at times,
they are actually constantly gauging our mood, always
ready to give us the support that we need.
11. She worked hard to keep you clean
and presentable
Most kids just grab a t-shirt and a pair of pants, put on
their shoes and run off to play.
Every day there is a fresh, well-ironed outfit ready for
you – it always smells nice
and looks good on you. Until you grow up you never stop
to wonder just how it is that no matter how much you stain and mess up your
clothes, they keep coming back fresh and neat.
Moms will drag you along to shop for clothes, wash and
iron them all the time, straighten your collar and tuck your shirt in, and they
even have to remind you to bring a jacket along.
12. She’d set aside her problems and
obligations to hear about your trivial issues
Moms have to work hard, be they working or stay at home
moms, to provide for their family
and take good care of their kids. And at the end of the
day, even though they might
have been frustrated out of their mind at work, got
tired from doing all the chores
or discussed some serious issues with their partner, they
still take the time to listen
to your problems. As naïve and trivial your issues might
be when compared to the real-world problems a mom faces, a mom will give
her full attention and try to help you work things out.
13. She patiently weathered your
tantrums and tried to make you see the right path
A lot of good sound advice is met with resistance, and
before most serious problems
can be addressed there has to be a time of adjustment
where it’s not uncommon for a child
to go through a few tantrums. Moms know when to lay down
the law, and when to sit back
and allow you to let out your frustrations and expel all
the pent up energy that was building up
for quite some time. It’s good to have a good cry every
now and then, and your mother knows it,
so she’ll weather a few emotional storms, give you a
shoulder to cry on
and push you in the right direction once you have calmed
down.
A mother struggles to ensure that her children can have a
good life.
Apart from making sure that they are safe, and have
enough to eat and wear,
a mother will face a thousand and one little challenge
while trying to raise her kids right.
It is important to acknowledge the effort and sacrifices
of our mothers,
and just once in a while, cut them some slack and do
something nice for them.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/13-struggles-your-mother-just-kept-herself.html
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