Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Millennials Are Selfish and Entitled, and Helicopter Parents Are to Blame

Saddle fungus.

Millennials Are Selfish and Entitled, and Helicopter Parents Are to Blame

There are more overprotective moms and dads
at a time when children are actually safer than ever
It’s natural to resent younger Americans — they’re younger!— but we’re on the verge of
a new generation gap that may make the nasty old fights between baby boomers
and their “Greatest Generation” parents look like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Seventy-one percent of American adults think of 18-to-29-year-olds — millennials, basically —
as “selfish,” and 65% of us think of them as “entitled.” That’s according to the latest Reason-Rupe Poll, a quarterly survey of 1,000 representative adult Americans.

If millennials are self-absorbed little monsters who expect the world to come to them
and for their parents to clean up their rooms well into their 20s,
we’ve got no one to blame but ourselves — especially the moms and dads among us.
Indeed, the same poll documents the ridiculous level of kid-coddling
that has now become the new normal.
More than two-thirds of us think there ought to be a law that kids as old as 9
should be supervised while playing at a public park, which helps explain (though not justify)
the arrest of a South Carolina mother who let her phone-enabled daughter play in a busy park while she worked at a nearby McDonald’s.
We think on average that kids should be 10 years old before they “are allowed to play in the front yard unsupervised.” Unless you live on a traffic island or a war zone, that’s just nuts.
It gets worse: We think that our precious bundles of joy should be 12 before they can wait alone in a car for five minutes on a cool day or walk to school without an adult,
and that they should be 13 before they can be trusted to stay home alone.
You’d think that kids raised on Baby Einstein DVDs should be a little more advanced than that.

Curiously, this sort of ridiculous hyperprotectiveness is playing out against a backdrop
in which children are safer than ever. Students reporting bullying is one-third of what it was
20 years ago, and according to a study in JAMA Pediatrics, the past decade has seen massive declines in exposure to violence for kids. Out of 50 trends studied, summarize the authors,
“there were 27 significant declines and no significant increases between 2003 and 2011.
Declines were particularly large for assault victimization, bullying, and sexual victimization.
There were also significant declines in the perpetration of violence and property crime.”
There are surely many causes for the mainstreaming of helicopter parenting.
Kids cost a hell of a lot to raise. The U.S. Department of Agriculture figures a child born in 2013 will set back middle-income parents about $245,000 up to age 17 (and that’s before college bills kick in). We’re having fewer children, so we’re putting fewer eggs in a smaller basket, so to speak. According to the Reason-Rupe poll, only 27% of adults thought the media were overestimating threats to the day-to-day safety of children, suggesting that 73% of us are suckers
for sensationalistic news coverage that distorts reality (62% of us erroneously think that
today’s youth face greater dangers than previous generations).
More kids are in institutional settings — whether preschool or school itself — at earlier ages,
so maybe parents just assume someone will always be on call.
But whatever the reasons for our insistence that we childproof the world around us,
this way madness lies. From King Lear to Mildred Pierce, classic literature
(and basic common sense) suggests that coddling kids is no way to raise thriving,
much less grateful, offspring. Indeed, quite the opposite.
And with 58% of millennials calling themselves “entitled” and more than 70% saying
they are “selfish,” older Americans may soon be learning that lesson the hard way.
 http://time.com/3154186/millennials-selfish-entitled-helicopter-parenting/

You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.
I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  
How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?
                                                               
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:
All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.
Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster
www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com        just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Saturday, 5 December 2015

10 Lists to Keep If You Want to Be Successful

Wild plumbs are pretty tasteless.

10 Lists to Keep If You Want to Be Successful
Djordje Todorovic

The human mind is truly incredible, and we should all strive towards creating a tenacious memory we can rely on. Many lucrative professions or hobbies require such a trait—
actors, musicians, artists and entertainers in general do countless drills,
just so the required information can be embedded in the memory with certainty.
Clearly numerous doors that lead to a successful future are unlocked if one has a great memory. Although beneficial, it is not an essential ingredient within the success formula—
what you lack in memory can always be compensated with diligence.
Keeping track of crucial elements in your life through list-making is still an unrivalled tactic
for counterbalancing feeble recollection. By utilizing constant reminders,
we can have significantly greater organization, we won’t be under the impression
we have forgotten something, and we will have a clear insight
into which task has a stamp of immediacy attached to it.

Here are ten suggested lists that warrant implementation,
in order to track achievements and nurture ambition.

1. List of Goals
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as
what you become by achieving your goals.” —Zig Ziglar

Goals and ambition is what drives us and motivates us, but we need to ask ourselves
what is it that we want in order to feel truly accomplished. Your list of goals should consists
of all the items that you deem are necessary to truly respect yourself. It can be financial stability,
a place you can call your own, starting your family, being independent, etc.
People have different criteria when it comes to goals, and this list in particular is ever-growing;
it changes as you mature, but it always feels great when you cross something out of it.
Without such a list, you lose direction of where your life is heading,
and we all need some inner guidance to focus on—a good reason to get up in the morning.

2. List of Tasks
“Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction
that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.”
—Theodore Isaac Rubin

Tasks are actually milestones on the road to goal completion, and these lists
have a tendency to become quite copious. New tasks emerge on a daily basis,
regardless of whether you are an employee, a student, or a freelancer.
Despite the fact that they are arduous, we always have some sense of achievement
once the task is complete, or when a certain problem is solved. By avoiding to make such lists
and lists of our daily tasks, they’ll simply pile up and eventually become a hindrance.
In the event you have larger tasks that need more than a day, a week or a month
before they can be completed, then break those tasks into smaller daily assignments,
and put them on the list as well. As long as you monitor larger tasks while completing minor
daily milestones, you will have a greater grip on progression and continuous source of motivation. List and sticky notes are actually quite potent tools for increase in productivity,
especially while we are working from home.
Lastly, it is worth mentioning that you should also have a list of personal tasks,
or tasks you do for the sake of self-fulfillment. These are related to your personal goals,
and governing passions—writing a book, painting, crafting etc. 
These tasks will define you and offer a much greater sense of achievement,
so give it your all to create something you can be proud of.

3. List of Contacts
“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.”
—Aristotle

It would be delusional to assume you can make it all on your own; however, at the same time,
a flawed partnership can result in disastrous outcome as well. It is extremely difficult
to find compatible allies and contacts, since friends and family—in other words,
people close to you—may not be the best choice for a business partner. If you want to enter
into a partnership with someone, make sure the person shares the same vision.
Tread lightly and try to ascertain your potential partner’s level of reliability.
Throughout life, we come across skilful, capable and talented people, whose competence
might be needed in the future, depending on your line of work of course. Do not be hesitant
to offer a helping hand when they are in need, since you can gain a valuable contact.
The point being: make a special list of all important contacts, like reliable programmers, handymen, lawyers, etc. Remember not to only reach out when you are in need.
You need to maintain a healthy and natural relationship and be there for those people
if they require your assistance. Truth be told, it can be arduous to forge strong friendship bonds, but having important acquaintances and becoming an important acquaintance
is very much possible.
Without such a list, you are leaving yourself vulnerable to possible future complications; moreover, make sure this list is well-kept since once you lose a contact like this one,
it can be somewhat troublesome to recover such data. Just be sure you have recovery data tools at your disposal to mitigate the damage if something were to happen to your phone.

4. List of Expenses
“A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.”
—Jonathan Swift

This may be a quite mundane piece of advice, yet it is very often neglected.
As we all know, there are two types of expenses: those that are necessary, (bills, taxes, food)
and those expenditures used for indulging some personal cravings. There is a degree of restraint that the majority of us lack in order to approach the matter with a satisfying level of prudence.
To say it bluntly, we treat our wants like our needs, and necessities and primary obligations
are pushed in the background. Of course, this may sound a bit exaggerated, but the truth is
the pressure of a consumer’s culture eventually becomes overwhelming, resulting in a purchase we shouldn’t be able to afford at the time. This kind of behavior can be avoided by utilizing lists, and turning them into an omnipresent reminder of what is truly important.
By making lists of all the monthly expenses we are obligated to pay, we’ll have a clear overview 
with how much resources are there at our disposal. On the other hand, without this list
filled with meticulous calculations, we are prone to believing that we have more freedom
to engage in a shopping spree, ultimately causing our bills to pile up; thus, we end up 
a step closer to a financial suicide. Handling finances properly, or the fact that we prioritize
the costs of living, is a responsibility that signifies maturity. Success is commonly measured
by the amount of wealth and without adequate spending tactics, you prevent its accumulation.

5. List of Useful Tools
“If you’re the type of person who has to fulfil your dreams,
you’ve got to be resourceful to make sure you can do it.”
—Vin Diesel

Today’s society vastly depends on the use of technology—we exchange information,
conduct calculations, measure time, etc. This level of reliability also suggests liability.
If something were to happen to our cell phone or personal computer,
it would be a sizable setback that could harm our capabilities severely.
As mentioned, losing contacts can truly be troublesome.
It is even worse however, to have your life’s work lost and compromised.
Useful tools are not only limited to recovering damage; they also encompass tools
that make your job easier. With efficiency and a greater level of competence,
you are a step closer toward success. Using the right apps and tools can make up for our lack
of skills in a particular area, or simply help us manage our work in a more timely manner.
Keeping a list of useful tools will come in handy whenever you are faced with
more common problems, like finding a good restaurant for a business dinner,
driving through unfamiliar terrain, task management, learning,
and there are even tools capable of helping you recover stolen property.
Even though the list is not as crucial as the ones mentioned so far, it is undeniable
that having it can save you a lot of time if the need for it ever arises. The Internet is a vast sea
of both useful and useless tools, and by filtering out those that are irrelevant, you won’t
have to conduct countless searches when you are in need of adequate tools for problem solving.

6. List of Self Improvements
“The minute that you’re not learning I believe you’re dead.”
—Jack Nicholson

Reasonable to assume this one is unavoidable, and it always deserves to be mentioned.
It is safe to assume we are all aware of our shortcomings; if not all of them at least some of them. Think about yourself, make a list of all the things you would like to improve or change,
then consider how to implement those changes.
Despite the fact that those who are close to you do not pressure you into changing or improving,
you should always make constant endeavours to do so, for your own sake.
The list of improvements should consist of physical changes, changes spiritual in nature, abandoning bad habits etc. No one expects you to change entirely in a short time period,
but making a decision to change one thing on a yearly basis is a viable resolution,
quite easy to execute. The list is there simply to remind you which improvement to prioritize,
and build up your confidence after each completion.
Refusing to change can either result in lack of confidence and depression,
or becoming an overconfident and self-absorbed person that no one will tolerate for long;
both of these traits are contradictory to your quest for a successful future.

7. List of Creative Ideas
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
—Waldo Emerson

Throughout history, people who made the most significant impact on the world
were those with a revolutionary way of thinking, those who dared to challenge
the established order and alter the status quo. For an idea to be classified as creative,
it needs to be new, it needs to make sense, and it needs to have some sort of use.
For example, creating something to help the disabled communicate online, or simply type—
that way, people who have lost their limbs could blog or become creative writers,
and show the world a piece of their mind. Thus a keyboard in a form of braces
could enable them to type using their tongue; however I am not an engineer,
so I do not know whether something like this is possible.
Whenever a new idea comes to your mind write it down, then browse the web
to see if you indeed have stumbled upon something ground-breaking. Once your list has grown, then you need to start pondering on the subject to see whether it holds closer scrutiny.
Ask for a second opinion and see what you would need to realize your idea. In a majority of cases, this is how successful people are created. Rest assured that it is very possible
that people won’t be impressed with your creativity as much as you are,
but do not allow yourself to be discouraged—after all, perseverance has a crucial role
in a career as well. Monitoring your thoughts incites productive thinking and hones your focus;
it keeps our mind occupied.
Letting your good ideas slide is only a wasted potential that will put your progress in a halt.

8. List of Future Plans
“The future is uncertain but the end is always near.”
―Jim Morrison

We have all heard statements like “Tomorrow is a mystery,” “Live for today,”
and “You can’t affect the future.” Personally, I heavily disagree with such a point of view. 
Although I do agree that, in particular circumstances, making plans for the future
is doing Sisyphus work, not planning it at all seems utterly mortifying. I also believe that everyone makes some sort of plan; the problem is this fear of uncertainty that thwarts our will to act.
To make your resolve more adamant, compile a list of your future plans, see what you need
in order to make them come true. This one is very similar to the first list—the one with goals;
the difference is, it does not have to involve your personal future.
Rather, it is list of upcoming important events, important changes in law, or upcoming trends, useful software, etc. It will keep you well-informed and prepared,
since staying updated and relevant are essential virtues for lucrative businessmen.

9. List of Contingency Plans
“You pray for rain, you gotta deal with the mud too. That’s a part of it.”
—Denzel Washington

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, meaning there is nothing you can do
without consequences. Every attempt to be more successful usually has a set of barriers
attached to it, or risks. Even though risks are inevitable, being prepared for the aftermath
is always a good and necessary thing. When you plan your business incentives, 
or when you plan to invest in something, make sure you compose a thorough pros and cons list,
as well as a list of possible negative scenarios. In the event that positive aspects
outweigh the negative ones, you can be more encouraged to proceed further.
Make an effort to be constantly prepared for the backlash of major initiatives,
and contain the possible damage. The lack of contingency implies recklessness,
and it was adamantly made clear how this approach contradicts advancement.
Make leaps of faith only when you have no other options to explore.

10. Bucket List
“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone.”
—Harriet Beecher Stowe

Finally, learn to live for the sake of experiencing what life has to offer.
It is invigorating, to say the least, and it keeps your regrets at minimum. One of the reasons
why we want to be successful is to actually fulfil our dreams or complete our bucket list,
to look back on our life during old age with a warm smile rather than a frown. Feel free to put even the impossible things on your bucket list, and find the next best thing using your creativity. Whenever you reach a rough patch in your life, take a look at you bucket list
and see what is the most plausible thing to do in order to restore your will power and keep going.
http://www.lifehack.org/283462/10-lists-keep-you-want-successful

You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.
I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  
How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?
                                                               
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:
All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.
Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster
www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com        just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

This Is What Depression Feels Like – In The Words of Sufferers

Teasal seeds and vetch.

This Is What Depression Feels Like – In The Words of Sufferers
Pooky Knightsmith

Depression is a really difficult condition to understand, which can make it hard for us
to offer meaningful support if we have a friend or relative who’s facing it.
Depression isn’t the same for everyone, so there’s no ‘one size fits all’ explanation.
In order to help you better understand, I’ve explored some of the common themes
and feelings experienced by people struggling with depression 
so that we can all be a better friend to people who are depressed.

1. Sometimes, you feel nothing at all
People who are struggling with depression
will often talk about a complete lack of emotion and feeling:
“Nothing, that was what I felt. All day, every day, NOTHING.”
After a while they might even forget what it feels like to feel, 
leaving them unable to know how to respond to things that happen each day:
“I didn’t have the energy, empathy or motivation to feel happy for my friends.
I vividly recall a friend telling me she’d got engaged and I felt nothing. 
I think I said ‘congratulations’ but in a dull, emotionless way that led her to believe I didn’t care. 
And I didn’t.
But that wasn’t me talking, it was my depression. I really hurt her but I didn’t intend to,
I’d just lost the ability to care for and be happy for her. You can see me in all of her wedding photos.   
The unsmiling bridesmaid. I wanted so much to be able to smile and feel happy for her
but I just couldn’t remember how.” 

2. Nothing feels real
Often, people who are struggling with depression will talk about their life
as if they are living in a kind of dream (or nightmare)
state where everything feels somewhat meaningless and surreal:
“When you’ve been devoid of feeling for a while, things take on a different meaning –
well a lack of meaning really. Until you’ve lost all feeling, you don’t realise how important
a part of the fabric of day to day life our thoughts, feelings and emotions are.
I felt like I was kind of sleepwalking.
Awake enough to interact with those around me, but never feeling fully present or real.”
Many people use analogies like being stuck under water
or down a well to explain the feeling of distance from the rest of the world.
“Every minute of every day was lived as if I was almost at the point of drowning.
The point after you’ve stopped struggling and you’re just lying there,
watching the rest of the world as your lungs fill with water
and the water envelopes you and you think ‘I don’t belong here anymore.’”

3. You can feel like an observer in your own life
It’s common for people to talk about feeling absent from their own lives.
Depression can make you feel like an outsider looking in rather than an active participant:
“It was like watching a TV show of my life. I didn’t necessarily like all of the episodes
but I felt incapable of changing them – like some producer had made the decisions, not me.
It all just washed over me as I watched on.” 

4. The future can feel inconceivable
Both the short and the long term future can feel hard to grasp. This doesn’t necessarily mean
feeling suicidal or not wanting to live, but rather just not being able to imagine it.
“My Dad was talking to me about college choices and I just found myself thinking ‘college?
is that even possible?’ – not in an ‘I’m stupid’ kinda way, more in a ‘that’s a thing people do,
I’m not really ‘people’ I’m just this blob of….nothing…. how could college be for me?”
“My friend suggested that as I was managing a bit better now, perhaps we could get coffee
next week. I said no. Not because I don’t like coffee, or didn’t want to be with my friend,
but just because I couldn’t get my head around the idea of this afternoon, let alone next week”

5. Just occasionally, you have happy moments when it’s all okay
People who struggle with depression sometimes have minutes, hours, or days when things feel
real again and they can see a glimpse of what it feels like not to be depressed.
“Every now and then the clouds would clear, and it was like I was alive again. It never lasted long.
At first I would just feel so low knowing it would pass, but after a time I learned to grab
these moments of respite and do all my living whilst they were with me.”

6. But you feel guilty if you feel okay
There’s a common misconception that if someone is depressed, they never feel okay
and never smile. This can leave sufferers feeling confused and guilty during respite periods:
“I was signed off work for depression, but here I was walking through the park enjoying the sunshine 
and the bird song. I felt like a total shirker as I thought of my colleagues back at the office
picking up my workload. The day before I had not left my bed and, as it turned out,
that was also true of the day after too, but right then I felt okay – and I felt guilty for feeling okay.”

7. And sometimes you put on a brave face and everyone thinks it’s okay
It can be pretty easy to fool everyone if you want to:
“Before I leave the house, I check I’ve got my wallet, my keys, and my fake smile.
If I’ve got those three things, I’m set.”
“After a while, you teach yourself how to act normal. It stops people getting upset and worried.
It means that all day, every day is a lie and it’s kind of tiring
but it does stop people from worrying so much.”

8. People want you to be fine, so they believe you if you try to fool them
We can all be guilty of not looking past the ‘happy mask’:
“When people say ‘how are you?’ they never mean it.
The thing is just to say ‘I’m fine’ and plaster on a fake smile. Hardly anyone sees past it.”

9. It really helps when people reach out, but you don’t know how to thank them
When we’re struggling with depression, sometimes we need the friend who sees past
the happy mask more than we need air. But we don’t know how to tell them “thank you”
or to acknowledge the fact that we need them. We may even ignore them.
But it doesn’t mean we’re not grateful:
“I had the most amazing friend. She stuck by me. Every day she would text or email.
Every day I would ignore her but she continued. Just little messages that let me know
in her kooky way that she cared. No one else persisted like she did.
The rest all took my lack of response as a sign to stop. She, somehow, realised that
I needed those messages. They were a lifeline, and the fact that they came without the expectation of a response made them all the more precious.”

10. It affects your friendships deeply–for better and worse
Depression is a tough illness to face. Many people who suffer from it will lose friends along the way. However, sometimes it’s also a time when someone really special steps forward,
and we develop a lifelong friendship with them:
“It’s hard to be friends with someone who’s depressed. I get that.
Most of my friends kind of drifted away.”
“Before I was depressed I had so many friends. Afterwards, I had just one true friend.
But one true friend is worth more than a thousand friends who drop away when things get hard.”   
I hope this helps you understand – or explain – this difficult illness just a little better.
You’re a good friend for caring enough to read this far. Good luck.

These quotes all come from people who are currently suffering from
or have recovered from depression and who have shared their experiences with 
Dr Pooky Knightsmith.
All people quoted have given their permission for their words to be shared anonymously.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/this-what-depression-feels-like-the-words-sufferers.html

Why Am I Depressed? - The Shocking Truth Behind Your Depression YouTube
20 Sentences People with Depression Hate Hearing the Most 5,000 + views
8 Things People With Hidden Depression Do
7 Things People With Hidden Depression Do
Depression often co-occurs with joint diseases
20 Things to Remember If You Love A Person With Depression

You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.
I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  
How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:
All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.
Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster
www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com        just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”