Tesals were used in the medieval wool trade.
16 Things You Don’t Need To
Say Yes All the Time (Though You Think You Do)
Oskar Nowik
There are two words I
consider one of the most powerful and influential, namely “yes and “no.” The
right combination of them and using the right one according to the situation
guarantees
you more
happiness, health and wealth.
To be nice and avoid hurting
others, we often say yes though we feel like saying no.
Whereas empathy is a good
feature to have, being a people-pleaser has terrible consequences.
If you ever regretted saying
yes,
these 16 examples will help
you to not make the same mistake again.
1. You don’t need to say yes to people asking for your time.
Some say time is money, but
in reality, there’s one thing that makes time the real wealth.
Namely, once it’s gone, it’s
gone forever.
Whereas money can always be
made up, time never goes back.
Now, don’t misunderstand it
with being insensitive ignorant, it’s far from that!
When someone ask for your
time, don’t say yes when it conflicts with your personal priorities.
If you think this person
deserves your attention,
schedule one day of a month
when you can devote your attention to them.
2. You don’t need to say yes to people asking for your money.
There is an adage which says
don’t let your friends borrow money unless you don’t mind
never getting it back. If
you can’t accept them never paying back, it’s a sign you should decline.
Borrowing money can destroy your relationships with other people
and make your life really
tense. Oftentimes, it’s better to deal with
the temporary discontent
when you say no than experience the problems later on.
3. You don’t need to say yes to people who clearly exploit you.
When someone approaches you
only during struggles, you are just a tool to solve their problems. It’s when
somebody only takes and never gives that you should consider stop saying yes.
Sure, you should contribute
value to other people’s lives,
but folks who batten on
generosity are not ones who deserve it.
4. You don’t need to say yes to please your friends.
Saying no to a friend is
tricky. You care about them and feel obliged to act accordingly.
The truth is, a real friend
will accept your refusal because they value your close friendship.
It’s false people who leave
you in case of disagreement.
5. You don’t need to say yes while under social pressure.
Social pressure can be a
huge obstacle to overcome. People expect you to go with the flow and please
them. Saying no requires courage and confidence but oftentimes it’s a
lifesaving decision. Every time you don’t say yes under a big group pressure,
you clearly show your values
which everyone respects even when they don’t admit it.
6. You don’t need to say yes so you fit in.
Similar to the previous
example, people in the crowd subordinate so in order to not stick out,
you are expected to submit
to their influence. But at some point everyone comes
to the conclusion that
fitting in is unnecessary and only causes regrets.
7. You don’t need to say yes when rules and dogmas limit you.
Different environments set
clear expectations toward behavior within the group.
Whereas some rules are
necessary so the society can function, there are many dogmas you have
a full right not to follow.
Embrace who you are and don’t let the outdated doctrines change it.
8. You don’t need to say yes to tradition and religion.
Born among people who set
religion and tradition as the highest priority,
you are expected to worship
these values. If, however, deep in heart you don’t consider them
as truths, that’s a clear
sign to refuse following them.
When I stated to my family
that I see religion differently than they do, I faced disapproval.
As the time goes by,
however, the tension expires and you feel proud of being your true self.
9. You don’t need to say yes to your parents.
Being able to do this is
might be as hard as it is to differentiate between following your heart
and being unappreciative
toward your parents. They love you and want you to live
the best life possible, but
sometimes it’s you who knows better your deepest desires.
When you parents expect you
to choose a certain career path,
remember it’s you and not
them who will be obliged to that lifestyle.
10. You don’t need to say yes to your boss.
Be cautious, I don’t intend
to make you lose your job! But then again, if you do have alternatives and your
current boss destroys your life, maybe it’s time to say goodbye and part ways.
11. You don’t need to say yes to things that make your priorities
secondary.
If you don’t respect your
values, nobody will. You are responsible for what happens in your life and it’s
the moment when you fully accept this responsibility
when you can finally give
your goals the top priority.
12. You don’t need to say yes to things fighting for your attention.
Today’s world attacks you
with distractions on a regular basis.
A skill to ignore stuff
begging for your attention is invaluable to survive. Remember,
whatever you decide to pay
attention to, you might be neglecting things that actually matter.
13. You don’t need to say yes to sales and extra offers.
I know it’s often hard not
to lose your mind during the sales. And marketers are people who know it best.
Various psychology tricks are applied to make you say yes and follow the sales
funnel.
At first, you feel instant
happiness, but then, as your wallet gets thinner and what you bought collects
dust, you begin questioning whether saying no wouldn’t have been a wiser
decision.
14. You don’t need to say yes to email offers.
As someone who likes to
subscribe to interesting newsletters,
I know how tempting
certain offers are. You are presented with an almost perfect offer.
As a result, a new need is
created and a product for its satisfaction sold.
But if you wouldn’t open the
email, would you even desire that very product or service?
15. You don’t need to say yes to time-suckers.
Television, Internet or
Social Media, these are all the wonders of technology
which revolutionized the world
of communication and information.
But if you don’t control
them, they will control you.
It’s easy to get lost
staring at the screen and mindlessly wasting your time.
Your brain tends to say yes
to comfortable situations and time-suckers definitely count to that.
As we determined in the
first point,
your time is the most
precious resource so protecting it is obligatory.
16. You don’t need to say yes to notifications.
I disabled every possible
digital notification, expect an app that reminds me to work out
and it does it at the right
time. But it wasn’t always like that.
Facebook notifications would
immediately catch my attention and destroy my focus.
Almost any serious app makes
sure to notify its users so they stay engaged and active.
Whereas it’s definitely
beneficial to the founders, it’s incredibly harmful to yourself. Turn off every
unnecessary notification and never again say yes to distractions begging for
your attention.
Set a goal for yourself
"Life is hard at times.
But when I overcome more challenges, I become much stronger then.
So I’m going to embrace
them."
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/16-things-you-dont-need-say-yes-all-the-time-though-you-think-you.html
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