Raindrop in Heron Stream, Wendover UK. M'reen
THE
SAYING
GOODBYE NOW EXERCISE.
This
is great in the aftermath or when faced with an argument, the loss of a job or
person
or
those many occasions when your find something to say after the event.
This
is also for people who are no longer in your life, through death or distance or
estrangement,
or
maybe even yourself at a different time of your personality or health
There
is also your own (sudden) death to consider. It is best to be in a serene frame
of mind
at your death. Undelivered communication, especially of love, is a
major worry for many people,
especially when brought up sharp by the sudden
death of another.
This
exercise is very effective and may (in my experience) take ten minutes or even
fifty minutes.
In
this exercise, you may express to the Universe or to yourself, your thoughts
and emotions concerning your loved ones, so that you know that on a spiritual
plain a record exists.
If
the spiritual aspect is not of importance to you, you will still find this
exercise to be
very calming, relieving and healing.
Work
in pairs {on the telephone} (or by
yourself or your reflection in the mirror or to a picture
of
the person or while staring into a candle flame as you express your thoughts
and feelings).
If
you are working with another person and choose to respond silently, you will
need to agree
a verbal or hand signal when you are ready for the next
statement. Or the other person will need
to divide the time up in some way and
ask you if you are ready for the next statement.
It
is important that you allow yourself plenty of time. The grieving person may
need some private time after this session before they are ready to drive a car,
or they may need to chat about
inconsequential things while their mind is
elsewhere.
(If
you are working with more than one deceased person,
it
is important to give your co-worker a list of their first names.)
The co-worker reads the following italics including the four statements.
The only
response the co-worker gives when you have finished with each statement –
Is: Thank-you, fine, good, all right or OK.
NOTHING MORE! This is not a therapy session; the co-worker
is a facilitator only.
This
is the pre-explanation from the co-worker to the client.
I shall simply ask
you to close your eyes and tell the Universe and {name of person}
(or each of
those named persons in turn) – through me – the things you appreciate about them,
anything you regret having said or done, how
you feel about the person, and what you would want them to know. Express those
feelings in the most honest and heartfelt way.
Take your time, speak freely, and allow any
emotions to surface.
You may think any
really private messages for that person.
Before you (the name of the
person you are working with) please tell {the
name of the receiver}
and the Universe,
through me(the co-worker):
- the things you
have appreciated about him/her… You then say or think
what you need…
- anything you
regret having said or done……… You then say or think what you need………
- how you feel
about him/her………………… You then say or think what you need………….
- what you want
him/her to know……………… You then say or think what you need………
.................................................................................................................................................................
The following exercise is for people in some sort of relationship. So
that should the unimaginable happen and a parting is made without the
opportunity for a final goodbye, the things we would wish have to have said, in
fact, have been said at some point. This exercise allows the freedom to
exchange love without rejection or censure, in doing so it may generate feelings of deep
love – and also fear, because of the context of the exercise- that is, the
possibility of the death of the partner or indeed yourself. You may speak
directly to the person or to their picture or to a candle flame.
THE BEFORE YOU DIE EXERCISE
1.
Before you die, I want to tell you .................
2.
Before you die, I want you to be certain that ..............
3.
Before you die, I want you to know ............
THE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT EXERCISE
¨
I
(like/appreciate/love) the way you .............
¨
I
(like/appreciate/love) it when you
.............
¨
I
(like/appreciate/love) you because .............
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:
To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more
things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
