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Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Fear Of Failure - Why We Have It & How To Deal With It

Be aware of the background but focus  on what is important.

Hey, this is Leo for and in this quick self-help segment,
we are going to talk about fear of failure and how to overcome it.
I'm going to give you some quick and practical techniques and insights
for how to deal with the fear of failure.

What is the fear of failure? It is something that every one of us has.
This is what holds every one of us back from living a charged life, or living to our full potential.
The fact is that the world is dangerous. There are things out there that we need to look out for
and that, in our biology and psychology, through hundreds of thousands of years of evolution,
we have been programmed with ways of thinking and dealing with situations in fearful ways.

Fear is a quick hit of stimulation that gets you to change your behavior.
That is like the "carrot and stick" model of motivation. That's how our reptilian brain works.
When you're faced with a real danger when you're walking through the jungle and all of a sudden, you see a tiger, you have a physical response happening in your brain –
especially in you reptilian brain -- that is just taking over all of you. It is sending you into action. 
That's the "fight or flight" response.
All of a sudden, you're geared and motivated. Within a split second,
you're filled with adrenaline and you're off and running away
or grabbing a stick to fend off the tiger or whatever you're doing.
That's totally natural and in the environment we grew up in
because we've evolved through millions of years of "survival of the fittest." It is a dog-eat-dog world.

However, now that we're living in a more humane society
where we don't have to be at each other's throats all the time, that fear is still present.
We still have all of these fears that grip us.
The dangers are not nearly as great as they were and what happens is that this fear paralyzes us
and holds us back. It makes us conservative and safety-minded rather than growth- minded.
We become afraid of trying new things and fear of failure is an aspect of what I was talking about, 
but it also ties in with perfectionism. It's thinking that when you do something,
it's going to have to go well. It's going to have to be perfect and if it's not,
then somehow you've failed and that's the worst thing that could possibly happen to you.

I feel qualified to talk about this topic because I have a lot of fear of failure.
Even though I've done years of personal development work
and I've studied so many numerous techniques and strategies and ideas related to this stuff,
the fact is that it's hard to get rid of the fear of failure entirely.
It's something that you have to chip away at slowly.
The best way to deal with fear of failure
is to put yourself in a position where you're relatively safe and secure.
If you're in a dangerous and hostile environment, then you have to handle that.
I'm not talking about a hostile environment in your mind.

Some poor country in Africa where you face a danger of getting your arms chopped off
with a machete is a hostile environment
and a suburb in the United States is not a hostile environment.

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