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Monday, 30 March 2015

Views on Ageing with a little inspiration

I took this photo at Malham, Yorkshire. I almost got the orb in the hole. M'reen

George Carlin's Views on Aging (and some inspiration)

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old
is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging
that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony...YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk.
He TURNED 30! We had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.

What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50...and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. 
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92." 
Then a strange thing happens.

If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight
    and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
    whatever. Never let the brain idle.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
    The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
    Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,
    pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
    Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
    If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
    to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

Carole Libbe,
Your Fast Forward Editor

George Carlin posted on his own web site about such soapboxings:

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, 
are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. 
Don't blame me. 

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes,
but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine.
Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often.
And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it. 

And that's the problem.
I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high.
But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid.
I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, 
because the tone of voice is so different.
But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might
believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.

Carlin offered this bit of wisdom for discerning whether he wrote any of various items 
attributed to him: "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless
it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website."

As to who actually penned the piece, the evidence points to comedian Larry Miller.
Some people recall seeing him perform it as part of his routine,
and the following bit is attributed to him in a 1998 book:
If you're less than ten years old you're so excited about aging you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "Six and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half.
Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100 you become a kid again. "104. And a half!"


Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube
Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:      describes the steps to reading in the way your mind prefers.               which takes advantage of the experience and expertise of others.         just for fun.

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