6 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
Therese J. Borchard
Gratitude and appreciation
are two powerful weapons we can use
against depression and anxiety.
In fact, Dan Baker writes in
his book, What Happy People Know,
that it is impossible to be
in a state of appreciation and fear at the same time.
Here, then, are some ways we
can cultivate gratitude.
1. Keep a gratitude journal.
According to psychologists
such as Sonja Lyubomirsky at the University of California-Riverside, keeping a
gratitude journal —where you record once a week all the things you have to be
grateful for — and other gratitude exercises can increase your energy, and
relieve pain and fatigue.
In my daily mood journal, I
make a list of each day’s “little joys,” moments that I would fail
to appreciate if I didn’t
make myself record them, such as: “holding my daughter’s hand
on the way to the car,” “a
hot shower,” “helping my son with his homework.”
This exercise reminds me of
all the blessings in my life I take for granted
and encourages me to
appreciate those mundane moments that can be sources of joy.
2. Use the right words.
According to Andrew Newberg,
M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, words literally can change
your brain. In their
book, Words Can Change Your Brain, they write: “a single word has the
power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional
stress.”
Positive words, such as
“peace” and “love,” can alter the expression of genes,
strengthening areas in our
frontal lobes and promoting the brain’s cognitive functioning.
According to the
authors, they propel the motivational centers of the brain into action
and build resiliency.
3. Remember.
“Gratitude is the
heart’s memory,” says the French proverb.
Therefore, one of the first
steps to thankfulness is to remember those in our lives
who have walked with us and
shown kindness for deeds big and small.
I have been extremely
fortunate to have so many positive mentors in my life.
At every scary crossroad,
there was a guardian or messenger there to help me find my way.
The mere exercise of
remembering such people can cultivate gratitude in your life.
4. Write thank-you letters.
According to psychologist
Robert Emmons at the University of California at Davis,
author of Thanks! How
the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier,
a powerful exercise to
cultivate gratitude is to compose a “gratitude letter” to a person
who has made a positive and
lasting influence in your life.
Emmons says the letter is
especially powerful when you have not properly thanked the person
in the past, and when you
read the letter aloud to the person face to face.
I do this as part of my
holiday cards, especially to former professors or teachers
who helped shape my future
and inspired me in ways they might not know.
5. Hang with the winners.
Peer pressure never really
goes away, you know. Studies show that married folks
hanging out with happy
couples are more likely to stay married themselves;
that if your friends eat
well, their willpower will rub off on you;
and that if you surround
yourself with optimists, you will end up more positive
than if you keep company
with a bunch of whiners. By merely sitting next to a person who likes the words
“thank you,” there is a high probability that you will start using those words
as well.
6. Give back.
A while back I wanted to
repay a former professor of mine for all his encouragement and support to me
throughout the years. However, nothing I could do would match his kindness.
No letter of appreciation.
No visit to his classrooms. So I decided I would help some young girl who fell
into my path in the same way that he helped me.
I would try to help and
inspire this lost person just as he had done for me.
Giving back doesn’t mean
reciprocating favors so that everything is fair and the tally is even. That’s
the beauty of giving. If someone does an act of kindness for you,
one way to say thanks is to
do the same for another.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/12/28/6-ways-to-cultivate-gratitude/
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