Spear thistle.
9 tips to deal
with negative people.
Do you have any friends or colleagues who are negative?
If so, you’ll know they aren’t the most enjoyable people
to be around.
Negative people can be real downers in any conversation.
No matter what you say, they have a way of spinning
things in a negative direction.
Some negative people can be so negative that it feels
draining just being around them.
I’ve dealt with a fair share of negative people in my
life. When I was in junior college,
I was basically surrounded by a college population of
negative students and teachers.
My school wasn’t the best of the lot, so most people
inside were disgruntled
by virtue of being there. While I was initially taken
aback by negativity of the people, I
eventually learned
to manage it and channel it into conscious action.
Today, I deal with negativity on-and-off in my personal
development work,
especially if there are readers or coaching clients in
distress.
Rather than be affected by others’ negative energy, I’m
now able to consciously deal with it.
Here, I’ll share with you 9 tips to deal with negative
people in your life:
1) Don’t get into
an argument
One of the most important things I learned is not to
debate with a negative person.
A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t
going to change that
just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she
can find 10 different reasons
to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just
swirl into more negativity,
and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give
constructive comments,
and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down,
don’t engage further.
2) Empathize with
them
Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have
someone tell you to “relax”?
How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested
or did you feel even more worked up?
From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for
that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on
what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions
will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).
3) Lend a helping
hand
Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They
may not be conscious of it though,
so their comments come across as complaints rather than
requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?”
or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.
4) Stick to light
topics
Some negative people are triggered by certain topics.
Take for example:
One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode
whenever we talk about his work.
No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep
complaining once we talk about work.
Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help
bring them to a more positive place
(i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person
is stuck in his/her negativity,
the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a
one-off conversation,
or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new
topic to lighten the mood.
Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common
friends, make for light conversation.
Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.
5) Ignore the
negative comments
One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore
the negative comments.
If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a
simple “I see” or “Ok” reply.
On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply
in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know
positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.
6) Praise the person for the positive things
Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re
also negative to themselves.
If you already feel negative around them, imagine how
they must feel all the time.
What are the things the person is good at? What do you
like about the person?
Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it.
He/she will be surprised at first
and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she
will feel positive about it.
That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in
him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.
7) Hang out in 3’s
or more people
Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in
easing the load.
In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be
directed towards you.
With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to
bear the full brunt of the negativity.
This way you can focus more on doing steps #1
(Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).
8) Be responsible
for your reaction
Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re
the one who is perceiving
the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually
the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your
perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive
and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the
person than the negative.
It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the
skill, it becomes second nature.
9) Reduce contact
with them / Avoid them
If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them
altogether.
If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity
of the issue and work it out where possible.
It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who
drain you.
Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have
positive effects on you.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/9-helpful-tips-to-deal-with-negative-people.html
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You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.
I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times
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Perhaps
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www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com
Personal business
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www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com
just for fun.
To quote the
Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more
that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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