5 Simple Ways To Be A Better Listener

My Giraffe lady.

5 Simple Ways To Be A Better Listener

Seth Simonds

Are you really listening?

In my journey toward better communication,

 here are 5 ways I’ve found to help reduce the distractions we face in communication:

1. Clear some space –

I started “clearing space” by removing everything from my work area that wasn’t related to

the conversation at hand. As the notion of space trickled into other parts of my life, I found myself silencing my phone during meals. I started taking notes during presentations instead of Tweeting. And I gave pause after others spoke before replying. I soon discovered that I wasn’t

just getting more out of conversations; I was finding more value in time spent alone!

2. Control your limbs –

You’ve probably been in conversations with people who talk with their limbs; most use their hands. Listening with limbs is another story. Confession: I am a pen-clicker. You know those annoying people who click their pens without realizing it? I am one. If I click my pen while you’re talking,

you’ll probably be distracted. If I rearrange my silverware at dinner while you’re talking, you’ll be distracted. So I got rid of my click-able pens and made a point to avoid behaviors that not only distracted others but also caused them to think I wasn’t listening (in most cases, I probably wasn’t).

3. Ask questions –

I’ve found that the best listeners make a regular practice of asking thoughtful questions. 

When you reach a pause in conversation, ask a question that clarifies a previous point or helps to 

dig deeper into the topic of conversation. The person or group you’re talking to will gain value

from your question and you’ll find it easier to resist distractions because your mind is fully engaged.

4. Make a move –

When you know you’ll be sitting for an extended period of time (shareholder meeting at work, 

looking through a 450-page photo album with Auntie Dorothy, etc), 

put in a few minutes of exercise ahead of time. 

There’s no need to break a sweat, just put in enough effort so your breathing deepens. 

When you go to sit, you’ll have more blood running to your brain for thinking

and the chair might actually feel comfortable following your effort.

I’m afraid no amount of exercise will make folding metal chairs comfortable. I’m sorry.

5. Enforce a “no-fly zone” –

This is a block of time you set aside each day that is completely free from the buzzing flotsam

of media and work inputs. Silence your phone, close the laptop, put away the papers,

and try your hardest not to even think about the big distractions that follow you around.

Do some crunches. Lie on the floor and watch the ceiling fan spin. Hang out with your kids

if you’ve got them. If you don’t have kids, hang out with some kids who need your positive influence. Knock something off your “honey-do” list and chat with your partner. Enforce your “no-fly zone” religiously and you’ll soon find a sense of clarity creeping into other aspects of your life.

Becoming a better listener takes effort and, most importantly, patience.

Be warned, however, for once you start truly listening you may find the process habit-forming. 

When people know they are being heard they tend to share amazing things

we certainly would have missed otherwise.

Looking back, has there been a moment when everything would have been different

had you been a better listener? 

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/5-simple-ways-to-be-a-better-listener.html

Turbo Charged Reading: Read more>>>Read fast>>>Remember all>>>Years later

You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.

I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    

All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.

Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster

www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com        just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

320 What to say when you are tapping? Feelings have no words!

Stepping stone to success.

In Ireland.

Turbo Charged Reading: Read more>>>Read fast>>>Remember all>>>Years later

You can TCR music, poetry or self development material for internal knowing.

I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    

All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.

Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster

www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

10 Tips For a Successful Relationship - Teal Swan

Ivy-leaved toadflax.

Turbo Charged Reading: Read more>>>Read fast>>>Remember all>>>Years later

You can TCR music, poetry or self development material for internal knowing.

I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and  remember what I’ve read.

I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    

All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.

Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster

www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com         just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

Surprising Pros and Cons of a Bad Mood

Yellow flag.

Surprising Pros and Cons of a Bad Mood

Nancie George

A negative mood may have some benefits, but chronic moodiness could hurt your health.

Everyone has the occasional bad mood. It might be the weather or something that happened

at work. But several studies suggest that a negative mood once in a while can have some benefits. On the other hand, a persistent bad mood could signal a serious health condition like depression 

or a mood disorder, which can negatively affect your health.

Here are some ways that a little negativity might actually be good for you:

Improved memory. 

People in a bad mood are better at recalling details than people in a good one,

according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

The study compared shoppers in bad moods because of cold, rainy weather

with shoppers who were in good moods because of bright, sunny weather. 

The shoppers in bad moods were better at recalling details of items they had seen earlier in the day. Researchers suggest that a bad mood may help boost memory and improve attention to details.

One explanation for this is that a bad mood causes people to be more skeptical

and careful when analyzing their surroundings. 

Better judgement. 

A negative mood can help you better judge certain social situations, according to another study. Researchers showed individuals a videotape of people — both truthful and dishonest

— who have been accused of theft and assert they’re innocent. 

Researchers found that people in a negative mood tended to be skeptical — accusing more people of theft — and were also more often correct in their judgments than people in positive moods. 

People in negative moods were also less likely to be fooled by urban myths.

More motivated. 

A 2007 study found that people in a negative mood are more likely to stick with a difficult task,

and less likely to self-handicap or “anticipate failure on a self-relevant task and create impediments 

to success,” as compared to people in neutral moods. The study also found that people

in a positive mood are more likely to give up on a difficult task and more likely to self-handicap. 

Dangers of a Chronic Bad Mood 

There’s a big difference between a bad mood and depression.

Depression is associated with unrelenting feelings of sadness and hopelessness,

and changes in sleep and eating patterns that interfere with your daily life.

 The symptoms of a bad mood aren’t as severe and usually go away after a few days.

“If folks are always in a bad mood, they may have a mood disorder that’s undiagnosed,

like dysthymia [a chronic type of depression],” says Jair Soares, MD, PhD, professor

and chair of the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences

at The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston.

Dysthymia symptoms typically last for at least two years, according to the Mayo Clinic. People with dysthymia are characterized as complaining constantly, being overly critical, and unable to have fun. Dysthymia can respond to medication and psychotherapy, including counseling and talk therapy, 

says Dr. Soares.

“Chronic stress or unhappiness is bad for your body,” says Soares.

Some not-so-obvious health risks associated with chronic depression include:

Inflammation. “There’s research showing that if you’re chronically stressed or have chronic depression that causes more systemic inflammation in the body, and that could have an impact on the brain as well,” says Soares. The connection between depression and inflammation,

the body’s response to infection, continues to be studied. 

Heart risk. “Sustained stress and depression are additional risk factors for cardiovascular problems,” says Soares. 

Ill-effects on diabetes. People with diabetes who are depressed have a more than

a 40 percent higher risk for a severe low blood sugar episode that causes hospitalization,

according to a 2013 study in the Annals of Family Medicine.

One possible reason for this is that depression can actually cause a psychobiological change

that causes fluctuations in blood sugar levels, making it harder to prevent low blood sugar levels. 

A bad mood is usually transient. But if symptoms persist, consult your doctor or therapist.

“There are some people in a low mood, that’s their natural disposition. The glass is always

half empty with them,” Soares says. “If they want to change, psychotherapy may help them.”

http://www.everydayhealth.com/news/surprising-pros-cons-bad-mood/

Turbo Charged Reading: Read more>>>Read fast>>>Remember all>>>Years later

You can pre-read all your course material for internal knowing.

I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    

All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.

Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster

www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com        just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”

The Right Kind of Visualisation

Water mint, (yellow) monkey flower.

The Right Kind of Visualisation

Is what you see, really what you get?

There are some wild claims out there for the power of visualisation.

Things like: if you can imagine it, then it will come to you. Of course there’s always been

a huge market for telling people things they want to hear, even if it’s complete rubbish.

Still, visualisation can certainly be important in reaching goals. Much research has been conducted

in athletics which shows the power of visualisation. Athletes are encouraged to experience

their sporting behaviour in advance to enhance their performance.

There is now hardly a sport left that doesn’t have psychologists

telling players to visualise their performance.

Visualisation is also used in psychological therapies to help people change their behaviour. Alcoholics, for example, are told to visualise how they will deal with situations

in which they’re tempted to drink.        

Effective visualisation

So, we know that visualisations can be effective in helping us reach goals.

But visions about the future come in many different forms.

How do we know we’re performing the right sort of visualisation?

Popular self-help books would have us believe that mentally simulating the outcome

will help us achieve it. So if we imagine ourselves getting that promotion, meeting the partner

of our dreams or just giving the house a spring clean, it will make us more likely to achieve our goal.

We’ve already seen the dangers of fantasising about future success.

But perhaps a more effective way of visualising the future is to think about the processes

that are involved in reaching a goal, rather than just the end-state of achieving it.

Process versus outcome

Outcome and process have been put head-to-head experimentally by Pham and Taylor (1999) 

who had students either visualise their ultimate goal of doing well in an exam

or the steps they would take to reach that goal, i.e.  studying.

The results were clear-cut. Participants who visualised themselves reading and gaining

the required skills and knowledge, spent longer actually studying and got better grades in the exam. (Interestingly, though, the relationship generally found between time spent studying

and good grades is surprisingly weak.)

There were two reasons the visualising the process worked:

Planning: visualising the process helped focus attention on the steps needed to reach the goal.

Emotion: process visualisation led to reduced anxiety.

The planning fallacy

One of the reasons just visualising an outcome doesn’t work is the planning fallacy. This is our completely normal assumption that everything will be much easier than it really will be.

It still strikes people, even after years and years of experience.

We continually fail to anticipate just how much of any plan can and will go wrong.

Thinking about the process, though, helps to focus the mind on potential problems

and how to overcome them.

Just dreaming about a goal may actually be worse than ineffective, it may reduce our performance. In the current study participants who just envisioned a successful outcome

studied less and actually had reduced motivation.

So, be careful what you wish for. Instead visualise how you might achieve it.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/03/the-right-kind-of-visualisation.php

Turbo Charged Reading: Read more>>>Read fast>>>Remember all>>>Years later

You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.

I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.

Introduction to Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

A practical overview of Turbo Charged Reading YouTube  

How to choose a book. A Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Emotions when Turbo Charged Reading YouTube

Advanced Reading Skills Perhaps you’d like to join my FaceBook group ?

www.facebook.com/mreenhunt

www.pinterest.com/mreenhunt

Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:

www.turbochargedreading.blogspot.com    

All aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.

Turbo Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster

www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com               Personal business development.

www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com        just for fun.

To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more things you will know.

The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”