Yellow Flag likes marshy ground.
Think Before
Reacting: How to Use Your Mental Pause Button
Kelly Pietrangeli
“Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that
brings peace.” ~Buddha
I used to be
the queen of putting my foot in my mouth.
I’d say the first thing that came into my head without
thinking.
My intentions
were always good and I’d never deliberately offend or hurt anyone,
but it landed me in trouble more than once.
Being so
reactionary also played havoc in my relationships.
I was defensive and quick to answer back. I did a lot
more talking than listening.
This spread
into other areas of my life. I’d put food into my mouth faster than my brain
could stop me; I’d impulse buy and make split second
decisions before thinking them through.
After a
difficult breakup I turned to yoga as a way of finding regular doses of
positivity
during an otherwise very bleak period.
The yoga
studio was run by some very wise yogis who also offered workshops
on positive thinking, mindfulness, and
self-development.
They had a
great bookshop and soon, instead of watching mindless TV,
I was engaging with inspiring people and reading
life-changing books.
On the same
day that I attended a workshop on happiness, I met my husband-to-be.
Two girlfriends dragged me off to a nightclub that
evening.
He says he was
attracted to me immediately. I guess I was radiating some kind of positive
aura,
as I hadn’t dressed up or done my hair and makeup like my
girlfriends had!
Thankfully, by
then my personal growth had led me to a greater sense of self-awareness.
I’d discovered
my internal pause
button.
Living life
more presently and becoming mindful resulted in a natural slowing
down.
It opened my mind up to the art of just being.
Learning to press pause means
listening and assimilating before opening my mouth.
I often hear a voice in my head saying what I would have
normally voiced out loud,
but in the few seconds I allow myself to pause, I realize
it doesn’t need to be said at all.
I’ve become a
mindful eater and spender and now realize that most decisions in my life
don’t have to be immediate. I relish in the joy of
pondering.
Here’s the
manual for operating your internal
pause button.
1. Recognize the trigger.
Notice when
sensations are building inside of you. Maybe it’s a rising heat in your body,
a pulse in your head, a knot in your stomach, or a
tightening in your chest.
Recognize
these triggers as signs to activate your internal pause button.
In an
argument, notice your ego rising up to defend its position. A simple awareness
of the ego
is enough to tame it and send it crawling back into its
hiding place.
2.
Press pause.
Mentally say,
“pause,” as if you’re reaching for that remote control.
3.
Take a deep breath.
Getting a
quick hit of extra oxygen to your brain helps you compose your thoughts
and brings you into the present moment.
4.
Observe.
For
interactions with people, just hold off and listen.
There’s no rule that you have to say anything
immediately.
Notice the thoughts that go through your mind and simply
observe them without attachment.
To curb
impulse eating or spending, rewind to a goal you’ve set yourself around this
kind of situation or a mantra you’ve created. Fast forward to the best possible
outcome.
How do you want this to pan out?
Again, allow
yourself to simply observe the thoughts that pass through your mind.
5.
Press play.
Now you’re
ready to act. Mindfully.
You may be
thinking, “Sounds great in theory, but in the heat of the moment
all of that is going to take too long!”
Yes, it may
feel like that at first. If you’re hard-wired to react immediately,
it’s a case of reminding yourself that it’s ok to wait.
Giving
yourself even a few extra seconds before reacting can make a difference.
Pressing the pause button gives you a chance to rewind,
make a good choice,
and then press play again to continue in a better way.
It puts the
power into your own hands to make good decisions and take control of your life.
You gain deeper relationships and learn so much more by
talking less and listening more.
Just because
you think it doesn’t mean you have to say it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/think-before-reacting-use-mental-pause-button/
You can TCR software and engineering manuals for spontaneous recall – or pass that exam.
I can Turbo Charge Read a novel 6-7 times
faster and remember what I’ve read.
I can TCR an instructional/academic book around 20 times faster and remember what I’ve read.
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blogs:
All
aspects of regular, each-word reading and education.
Turbo
Charged Reading uses these skills significantly faster
www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com
Personal business
development.
www.happyartaccidents.blogspot.com
just for fun.
To quote the Dr Seuss himself, “The more that you read, the more
things you will know.
The more that you learn; the more places you'll go.”
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