When people decide to become a client and work with their issue I ask them to fill in
a fact sheet and on the back of this personal details sheet is
The Magic Fairy Wish List and ‘Selfish’ is something a lot of people tick for the things
they wish to alter about themselves.
This wish list forms a potted history of your views of their place in your world
and most people seem to think that being selfish is a demerit,
that it says something mean about themselves that they wish to eliminate.
In fact ‘selfish’ is replaced by the computer generated synonyms with:-
self-centred, self-seeking, self-interested, egotistical, egotistic and egocentric
and with the antonym as altruistic which in turn can be replaced with:
unselfish, humane, selfless, and philanthropic.
A synonym is a word having the same significance as another,
the antonym being its opposite.
I would like to seriously argue against these authorities!
My argument is simply this, that a well rounded, person who is secure in their own centre,
enjoys being selfish because in being so they have a secure sense of self.
They are happy and comfortable with the fact that when they truly love themselves
then they can truly love others without their ego screaming for attention.
That when their inner self is content then they can freely give to others,
not needing a return on the gift, i.e. ‘brownie points’.
If your own inner voice or people around you scream, ‘you’re selfish’, ‘you must share’
or ‘ you cannot put yourself first’, then you can now recognise these voices as insecure bullies
that are afraid that you have the confidence that they dare not consider.
These guilt trips are to be recognised as the external pressures of others,
even if you have accepted and internalised these attitudes from the authority figures
of your innocent and gullible youth.
Consider this next thought as a variation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which in principle states
that one must satisfy lower needs before being able to appreciate a higher level need.
So, for that reason, when travelling by air, you are always advised, indeed instructed,
to apply your own oxygen mask before that of your much loved child or fragile baby.
While understanding the cold practicality of this, I feel I would have to fight hard to comply
with these essential instructions.
Therefore in order to take the ego out of self-centred, self-seeking, self-interested,
then your ‘self’ has to be secure, satisfied and content so that you can go forwards
with the synonyms of philanthropic which are:- generous, big-hearted, altruistic, benevolent, charitable, giving and good hearted.
Consequently you do not need to grow into the insecure guilt trip of others to avoid being selfish,
but into the selfishness of completing your inner journey to yourself, that is knowing and accepting yourself and your boundaries, before your can truly let your generosity flow out freely to others.
Being secure in your boundaries also enables you to say. ‘No’, with integrity!
Being unable to say, ‘No’ is also on my Magic Fairy Dust list.
One of the other points of this list is that sometimes I can slip in extra healing
if I know that it is appropriate for you.
Also, it prepares me for the unexpected as your subconscious will work on
what’s appropriate for you, at that time, and maybe not what we set out to
work with that session. Lastly it gives you an opportunity to let me know things you forgot
to mention during the initial consultation.
While hypnotherapy is not magic, it sometimes feels that way.
Perhaps you’d like to check out my sister blog www.ourinnerminds.blogspot.com
which takes advantage of the experience and expertise of others.